i need some physical affection and 3 bottles of vodka
tips to write college papers
- begin with “buckle your seatbelts, motherfuckers, because in eight short pages i am going to learn u a thing that i only learned myself about two hours ago, so sit down, shut up, and enjoy the experience of my 4-am-redbull-induced-self-hatred-fuelled-writing-extravaganza”
- erase when finished with the paper
BUT THIS ACTUALLY WORKS
MAKE SURE YOU ERASE IT THOUGH
who wears the pants in the relationship? well preferably no one will be wearing pants
gETTING HUGGED BY PEOPLE WHO ARE PHYSICALLY TALLER AND BIGGER THAN YOU IS AMAZING
ITS LIKE BEING WRAPPED IN A BIG WARM PROTECTIVE HEAT BLANKET AND ITS WONDERFUL
HUGGING PEOPLE THAT ARE LITTLER THAN YOU IS GREAT TOO LIKE THEY FIT PERFECTLY IN YOUR ARMS AND THEY’RE LITTLE AND ADORABLE AND REMINISCENT OF HUGGING A SMALL ANIMAL
JUST HUGGING PERIOD
all i want in life is to lose weight and gain money
yet instead, here i am, gaining weight and losing money
You never realize how boring your life is until someone asks what you do for fun.
sometimes i’ll have loads of money and then other times i’ll be awake
ALL DOGS SEE YOU AT YOUR MOST UNFLATTERING ANGLE WHERE IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE TWELVE THOUSAND CHINS AND THEY ARE STILL SO HAPPY TO SEE YOUR BEAUTIFUL SELF THAT THEIR ENTIRE BODY VIBRATES, HOW GREAT IS THAT?